This is the fourth section of the eleventh chapter of Sonnets from a Proton. The novel starts here.
The next section is here.
Martin stumbled back from his explorations. It was enough he thought to turn a man to a hermit. Not that he wasn’t one for the pleasures of the flesh, not that he hadn’t enjoyed fashions in his time, but from the outside it was a really unpleasant experience. Like the first time as a middle aged man he had returned to the club that he enjoyed as a teenager. It wasn’t that he was missing out, it wasn’t that he missed the thrill of the chase or anything like that, it was that he really did feel past it. He had been there, won or for that matter lost that battle and it was enough. All he could think of was the inevitable ways those there would end this evening. There was nothing new, nothing added by anyone there except their own writhings and repeating the same mistakes countless generations had made in the past. Still he thought they were fun mistakes to make and they had to make them themselves.
Yet that said they were some of the happiest and most comfortable people he had ever talked to. They were content, and here he was so disturbed and bothered by how others were leading their lives.
Sat there he had questioned his worth and the worth of humanity and really was this all there was. Perhaps that was what the Habitat had given us he thought. The youth can be the youth to their full and I can be an old man to my full.
Martin was almost back at his house when his pad shouted at him “Hey Martin”
It took Martin a few moments to figure out who that was and where it was coming from “Hey Iz, look I’ve had a long night, can this wait until morning?”
“You promised me a drink and I could do with a friend at the moment. I’ve just had a bad day myself”
The young thought Martin again. Well it kept life interesting “Okay fine, pop over then I’ll be there myself shortly”